Lunar-Chaos-Kagura

What is this? It’s not fair to me, Can’t you see? This isn’t how I want to be. Just put your arms around me. I want you, I need you. I can’t be strong without you. You’ve always been there, But never “there” enough. You’re always been just out of reach. Even now when you’re so close, yet so far. All I want is to be in your arms, But I can’t because it seems as though I put your body on alarm. You shy away from me, Like you’re scared of me, All you want to do is flee. Just admit it, You don’t really want to be around me. This isn’t how things should be. We made it t

Lips sealed shut, Hands clenched around my hair. My heart is beating faster, I can feel it coming on. Teeth grinding, Muscles clenching. In the pit of my stomach I can feel it boiling, Just hold it back! Rapid breathing, I can’t control it, Can’t contain it. I’m sorry, Don’t look at me! I don’t want you to see me like this! My head is pounding, Tears start to form, I’m sorry! My chest aches and feels tight, The anxiety sets in. Composure is gone, Did it ever exist? My body is rejecting me as tears stream down my face, My body fails, I can’t hold myself up so sink to my knees. The panic. The overwhel

Feelings, All spilled across a page. For everyone to see, Everyone or only me? Only me, Because no one else will see. No one will see the true meaning, The true words, The feelings and colors, The sights and the sounds, The things that springs from the words. My words are alive, But only to me, That’s why it’s okay if you see, Because you won’t know, You won’t see the piece of me in the words, The piece of my soul, The thoughts that race through my mind. The tears that stain the paper, And seep into the words.

What are you doing? Can’t you see you’re messing with my head? I mean if anyone can, it’s you who can bring my emotions back from the dead. But don’t you see, can’t you tell? All of this is just putting me through even more hell. I love you I do, but you don’t love me. Come on just wake up, don’t you see? You all say that you care, that you love me, But don’t you ever dare. I can see it isn't there, With eyes unclouded I see you. Everything you do, It’s like my eyes are glued. Every action, every move, I see the true you. For too long have I waited and waited, How much more could you expec

I can see it all, everything I've ever wanted Starring at me from the ink It would only cost me everything, mind, body and soul, my sanity Would it cost me them? I dip my feet, the water is so warm I dip my feet, I can hear the voices screaming "No!" Up to my knees, the blackness is staining Beckoning, telling me to take the plunge Inviting, darkness surrounds me, clawing my flesh Whispering, I know the voices call me Panicking, I can feel sanity leaving I run out to the rough cave floor, legs burning with darkness Sitting there, watching them in the ink "It would only cost you everything..."

When i look, it is always disappointing Never anything good, only sad, only ugly But sometimes I see her, my doppelganger The prettier half She is dazzling for a second, and then gone She is full of grace, I'm so full of it She sparkles like the stars, I look like i'm from another galaxy She is warmer than the sun, I've been stuck in the snow Somewhere, wherever she may be, she must catch a glimpse of me Horrified, She's screaming, I'm sure

A tune, carried by a lonely pianist, makes it's way to me. It shimmers and dances, a tangible, glowing beauty I makes everything sparkle It is swallowed up by fireflies, who glow in colors only imagined, and wander aimlessly through the fields It is absorbed by the flowers, that glow in their soft purple, and bear to the moon their ethereal patterns It drifts up to the stars, that twinkle in delight As the pianist pours out his soul, as do I I am like a child again, giggling and twirling Reveling in the magic In this moment nothing else exists I can shed my hard shell, and be free The smallest things turn into miracles

Well here i am Sitting here in this familair place, Called loneliness Called sadness Called confusion what am i supposed to do...? I'm sick of this feeling, This pain in my heart, in my very soul Something is missing something is  wrong As i sit here staring at these blank white walls, as if they will tell me something i don't know The hole in my heart is always getting bigger It's like a wound that just won't heal Then i look at the scars, and they remind me of it all Everything i've wanted to forget Everything i've been running away from But then again, what doesn't kill you makes you who you are Now all i need to figur

I'm falling, Always falling, I never hit a bottom, because there is none. Some times i can catch myself. And climb a little higher, but then i get weak, And someone is there to remind me, of what is really happening, of what i am. Why can't i fly like everyone else...? Why are my wings so battered and broken? Why? It's because of my soul, my heart My wings reflect what i am I don't like falling, It reminds me that i'm broken, Living in a nightmare you just can't wake up from All i want is rest. I feel like i'm losing myself Like i'm just slipping away I've lost so much, So much of my soul, My heart, So much of me...